I like my sex mixed with concussions.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
