I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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