Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
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Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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