its not stalking. its research.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
