if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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