I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
