just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
