his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize