Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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