I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
