I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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