it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just cropdusted the office
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
