first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.