I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?