I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
