Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
