AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
