are you still at the devil's house?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
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we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
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We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We are all done wearing pants today
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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