SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The air was thick with penises
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
