I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
