Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
