And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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