my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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