the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?