That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
