Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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