just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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