she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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