you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
