Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
