just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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