What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I want her autograph on my taint
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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