My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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