I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
