Don't make out with my wife yet
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
