I wish I could teleport
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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