don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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