ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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