I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
