Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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