so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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