I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize