So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
