It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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