We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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