HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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