Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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