It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
