i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think my moral compass just broke
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
