just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
