If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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