Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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