I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
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It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
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I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.