I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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