Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
