physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
