my vag is so smooth its legendary
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize