Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
