I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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