I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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