I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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