And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
