didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
